Jaycee Dugard on dating; sex and relationship challenges for assault victims

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Jaycee Dugard
Photo courtesy: Jaycee Dugard Facebook public groups

No one can fathom what Jaycee Dugard had gone through living eighteen years of her life in a strange, tented backyard, under the captivity of the Garridos. It’s the same backyard where she had given birth, first, at the age of 14, and her second baby at the age of 17.

Seven years after her rescue, Jaycee Dugard is back with her family and has published a book A Stolen Life: A Memoir. Her second book, My Book of Firsts will be out on July 12.

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When asked about the semblances of her second book with the Oscar-Winning movie Room, she said, “The story gives a false depiction of what reality is after captivity. The way the central character is treated is exactly what you should not do.”

Putting a survivor in the hospital with a doctor who looks like the perpetrator is exactly the wrong thing to do.” She added.

Her second book is about moving on to a new phase in her life. She spoke about what she had checked off her bucket list, and even considered the possibility dating.

“I want it to be true and it’s a guy who is caring has a sense of humor, can laugh about all this stuff, likes to cook,” she said.

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But relationships with a sexual assault survivor can be tough. She even mentioned her inability to start a physical relationship, and in her new book wrote about her being “damaged.”

When assault victims go to bed with a loved one, a part of them lies with their rapists. Their traumatic experiences can become too much to overcome and can even rule their lives in the way they feel and think, and react to things.

The sex can be even more difficult, as it serves as a direct reminder for the rapist’s actions, which could be misinterpreted in ways not limited to violence and pain.

The toughest to overcome will be that underlying feeling of mistrust. It will be a real challenge for her future partner to make her feel comfortable and completely open with her gushing emotions, which in itself, is almost impossible to filter.

A man needs to be able to find the person she once was before her emotional trauma to hold her heart and protect it like thin glass.

Photo courtesy: Jaycee Dugar Facebook public group

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